So here I sit...
I sit and wonder what she meant. I know what she typed. Every word.
I read them a thousand times. I stared intently waiting for them to speak
again. Reading them not as words, but as pieces of her, etched into me.
They spoke softly.
My mind wandered as she wrote. Words were no longer symbols on a page,
but they gained lives of their own. They told me their own stories of
how they became.
I sit and wonder if she thought. Would she think me a fool knowing that
some words radiated throughout my body drawing me closer to her. That at
moments to just calm myself I had to pull my hands away and let them hold
each other as if one were hers.
My mind wandered as I wrote. I imagined that she felt me too. That
mere words could move her hands as they did mine. That perhaps she
could find a gentle caress in my voice or something that could move
her hands so strongly she might think for a fleeting moment they were mine.
To believe they were mine. Feel them as mine. As I felt mine as hers.
I sit and wonder if she knew. Did she know I had her picture open as she
spoke. Trying to imagine the words coming off her lips. Wanting to know
how she felt. The softness of skin, the warmth of breath, the aura that
surrounds her. Did she know that I imagined her touching herself. Stroking
as I so craved. Hoping that just the right word would thrust her heart into
mine with a mighty roar and set her body to quiver. I wonder if she knew.
My mind wandered as we wrote. It soared high above. Sharing visions of
a snowcapped peak at dawn as we huddled to keep warm. Sounds of deer
scampering through the woods as we listened to a rustling brook empty
into the nearby pond. Hearts beating with every drop. The smell of
cocoa as we sit on the bank. Holding hands. Exchanging words. For
I was in my chair. She was in hers. The third lay there broken,
awaiting our world.
So there I sat.
Posted by ac at May 22, 2003 01:09 AM