August 03, 2003

no rhyme, no reason

normally i know what i want to write about or share. today i don't, but i have a strange urge to write something. anything. to some degree i want to just keep everything inside and hope i don't explode. another part of me wants to scream from the roof tops letting the world know how i really feel. maybe it's just the lack of sleep talking.

today was another tough day -- where lowest expectations were sadly met while all along there was a secret hope for better things to come. it is so tough to watch loved ones fail to meet their expectations, knowing fully why it happened. knowing there probably wasn't anything you could do about it, but still feeling partly responsible. at this point, we can only hope a lesson can be learned.

the lesson as i see it is that when you have achieved a goal, that is only the beginning of the struggle. life does not get any easier when you are on top and that complacence is the first step in one's downfall. my goal today is to not make matters worse and remind myself that today's failure wasn't mine and that in the bigger picture maybe it's all for the best.

Posted by ac at August 3, 2003 06:04 PM

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