Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
so my trillian window pops up this afternoon -- it's anw, for the umteenth time i might add. some interuptions are nice, but please... make it worth my while.
[13:47] **************: you have to read this one
[13:47] **************: its something you would write!
Actual question on a University of Washington chemistry midterm:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Support your answer with a proof.
Most of the students' proofs involved Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats up when compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into hell and the rate they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets into Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume of Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, that "it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and taking into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in that area, then 2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.
mmmmK. well, let me set the record straight -- i find the question amusing and the answer creative. also cute is snopes take on the matter questioning the postulate if souls exist, then they must have some mass, and the catholic church's take. heh.
none the less, i believe there are several subtle errors in the student's calculus and i'll share one here with those that have bothered to read this far -- all one or two of you i'm sure. first, the calculations implicitly assume that the number of souls in hell at any given time is fixed. it seems to me that the number of souls in hell at any given time is not fixed, but rather that souls can wander in and out of hell. consider that i know i have been through hell -- a few times even -- which clearly shows that i have been there and come back; thus indicating the potential for souls to migrate back and forth. this of course assumes my soul goes with me, and i'll leave that for another debate at another time.
oh, and for kicks... to take issue with the evidence of ms. banyan. yahoo sports tells me the patriots are up 21-7 in the afc championship game. seems to me that hell could very well freeze over. if the student is reading this by some chance, i suggest he (or she i suppose) give ms. banyan a call. of course, as i finish typing that, the colts score a touchdown to narrow the lead with 2:27 left.
Posted by ac at January 18, 2004 02:44 PM