Calgon Take Me Away
i've been tempted to ask -- so what else can go wrong, but honestly, i don't want to know the answer to that question. why? because i will consume myself trying to deal with it prior to it ever happening. if it ever would happen. i tend to do that, and sadly find myself oblivious to the problems at hand, often causing greater problems. the spiral downward is not a trip i enjoy -- but i put myself there more often than not.
now i hate when i do things like that to myself. there are moments i honestly hate myself for it. what i hate more is being helpless to solve the problem. spinning over to work life -- i'm stuck here totally helpless. waiting for 13 domain name servers to update their information from a source which i also have no control over. i've done my updates, paid my dues, and am left to wait. twelve hours? no, it's been longer. twenty-four hours? we're approaching that. one support person suggest it could take upwards of 72 hours! i'm beside myself... trying to remember that i'm not in control and shouldn't stress.
being a guy who solves technical problems for people, often with a little novel thinking and a few keystrokes i find myself trying to convince others that i can't fix this problem. that it's out of my control. it makes me feel weak and worthless. it reminds me of all the problems i don't solve that others don't always know about. it makes me doubt myself -- i should have never let the problem happen. i should have been thinking even further ahead. and that's a problem in and of itself, just like me. i am the problem.
Posted by ac at August 23, 2004 02:04 PM