June 27, 2005

Marriage is like a porterhouse steak

i can't take credit for this post or even the subject line as i've simply ripped this right off the page of heads or tales and reproduced it here. i was going to just take a snippet and link to it, but i think it needs to be kept intact. this is the original of what is below.

On one side, you have the meaty, hearty strip on one side and the other you find the delicate and delicious filet. They share the T bone in addition to being bound by the other connective tissues, but they are still separate, much like two married people. In marriage, the T bone and tissues represent the bonds that they share; the things that tie the strip of a spouse to his or her filet of a spouse.

Life, including the inherent financial problems, represent the grill and it's heat. When you place marriage on life, you have to constantly watch it, ensuring to take care with marriage so it doesn't get burned up. Like with the flame, keeping the money situation divided equally and under control will keep one of the two members from being overdone while the other is still raw. In a steak, that equates to four minutes on side, turning the steak 45 degrees halfway in between. In marriage, you need to keep the communication constant and open, making adjustments to ensure you're both together, exactly where you need to be in life.

Never ever forget to check to see how you're really doing. In a porterhouse, when a thermometer is placed in the center of each portion, the temperature should register at 155-160 to achieve a nice medium consistency. In marriage, you need to ASK how the other person is doing: That is your thermometer, your method of probing and discovering just what the other person needs. Sometimes, people don't always express everything they want in life. It takes work on YOUR part to make those discoveries.

A baked potato, like children, will not make a bad porterhouse a good porterhouse. It will simply be a bitter, half cooked porterhouse, which only fucks up the baked potato, no matter how resilient you believe potatoes are.

A porterhouse is a big piece of meat. Believing you can have a porterhouse with another filet on the side is a bad idea in practice, but yes, it does sound delicious. It's better just to sit back and be entertained watching someone deal with that much meat.

Taking someone else's filet away from them could end up with your own meat being turned into hamburger.

Two strip steaks together just seems wrong, but oddly, two filets seem to be quite lovely. Judging from the number of places that show two filets on the menu, it would seem many people feel the same way. Experiment if you so wish.

And finally, when you find yourself in the market for a filet to compliment your strip or vice versa, be careful you pick the right cut and not something that simply looks good.

Until we meat again...

i'm a filet mignon guy myself -- medium or medium rare depending on your perspective of what is medium or not. and mushrooms. must have those! so i wonder where the fungi (pun intended) fits in. and what about the bacon?

oh, nevermind. i could get far to silly with this one.

Posted by ac at June 27, 2005 12:32 PM

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